


Like Cherry Chapstick

by tzuyugy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Kissing, Light Angst, Lip Balm, M/M, Na Jaemin is Whipped, just boys being boys and jaemin being whatever he got going on, yeah u know where this is going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29469009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzuyugy/pseuds/tzuyugy
Summary: It was a joke. Kind of.Jaemin may have an odd sense of humor but in the end, at least it always makes some sort of sense and he gets to laugh. He may have overestimated it this time.-Or: Jaemin kisses Mark five times and one time Jaemin gets a taste of his own medicine.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Na Jaemin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 161





	Like Cherry Chapstick

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be for Valentines day but I needed to make wayyy more edits so...happy late valentines day!!!!!! <333

It was a joke. Kind of.

Jaemin may have an odd sense of humor but in the end, at least it always makes some sort of sense and _he_ gets to laugh. He may have overestimated it this time.

“What did she get you?” He hears Jeno ask Mark.

“It’s just a small box.” Mark says, frowning. “It’s kinda heavy though, maybe it’s a watch or something.”

“A rolex.” Donghyuck whistles. “Impressive!”

Mark rolls his eyes and Jaemin chuckles, pretending like he doesn’t care that much. He might be a little jealous. Just a little. His grip tenses on his phone, almost posting an incriminating screenshot but he quickly catches himself. He can't imagine how his four million followers would feel about Renjun and Donghyuck's little vulgar cursing match.

( _Renjun won, of course, he was creative when he was angry.)_

“Well, open it!” Chenle urged. “Cmon!”

At that point, everyone minus Jaemin (who was sat still on the couch), had scrambled over to Mark to get a good look of what he had received. They were crowding around him now, probably breathing heavily against his neck, he knows Donghyuck already is by the way Mark slaps Donghyuck's mouth and Donghyuck jumps _far_ away from him to stand next to Chenle.

The present in Mark's hands was a gift from Mina, just a small thing for good luck she said. The boys (minus Jaemin) had teased Mark about it, but Mark swore up and down that they were just friends. Besides, Mina made it clear she had her eye on someone else that day.

Mark thumbed at the ribbons for a moment, observing the blue box’s dimensions before untying it carefully, much to the others’ dismay who had preferred Mark to just rip it open as to get it over with. It looked nice, Jaemin can’t blame him for that.

Once the ribbon was fully untied, Mark discarded the ribbon onto the table then popped the lid to reveal a silver bracelet and a small stick of what looked like lip balm.

The room had been quiet the entire time Mark was opening the box. It was quite anticlimactic just seeing both gifts. Though Jaemin wasn’t quite sure what he was expecting either, it certainly wasn’t this.

“She said your lips are dry, bro.” Donghyuck snickered and the others laughed.

“Wow, hyung.” 

“It’s a good lip balm too. It’s even tinted!” Jeno grinned, eyes lighting up. “Cherry flavored.”

Mark had only frowned, “She got me a bracelet too, you know.” Holding it up, it looked really nice, a sterling silver chain which would complement Mark quite nicely.

“No one cares about the nice gifts, hyung.” Chenle grinned. “Well, I guess the chapstick is nice too.”

“It’s pretty,” Jeno says, reaching for it. “Can I have it?”

“No.” Mark holds the box closer to his chest, glaring. “It’s mine. Go ask Yeeun or Doyoung for a gift.”

Jeno pouts and gingerly retracts his hand.

“You should put some on.” Jisung says. “Just to see how it looks.”

Mark glances at him before taking in his consideration. “I guess I should.”

The cap pops open and Jaemin’s interest has suddenly piqued. His eyes follow the stick that inches closer towards Mark’s lips.

Mark’s lips aren’t chapped at the moment, but they surely aren’t moist either. They’re just a bit dry but once the pink wax glides over his bottom lip, it suddenly shines and even colors his lips into a bright crimson. The room fills with the smell of sweet cherries and Jaemin just so happens to get the sudden impulse to cause problems.

Mark purses his lips, trying to apply the lip balm onto his upper lip, followed by a soft smacking noise.

“Hyung looks pretty.” Renjun says with a teasing lilt to it and Jaemin just _has_ to get a closer look of the work for himself now.

The color pops against his peach skin and makes him look softer somehow. Jaemin feels an all too familiar flutter in his stomach. That’s when Jaemin walks over to him while everyone else is teasing him. Cooing at Mark, telling him he’s the cutest and prettiest boy in the room. Jaemin wouldn’t even try to disagree, but if he did say something out loud, he would be overwhelmingly honest and it would be an awkward situation for everyone involved.

He makes it in front of Mark, knocking their knees together and Mark looks up at him in confusion.

“Can I try?” Is all Jaemin says. He can feel all their eyes on him and he's thriving a little bit by all the attention. It just means he has a bigger audience.

Mark nods, holding up the lip balm to pass to him, “Sur-”

It’s chaste. Short and literally sweet. A minute press of the lips that only lasts probably about a second.

Jaemin pulls away just as quickly as he had kissed him and runs his tongue over his lips. To fully get the taste of cherry, of course.

It's just faintly sweet, tasting artificial but Jaemin honestly doesn't care much about the flavor at the moment. Only in the gasps that elicit from the others and Mark's wide eyes and rosy cheeks.

“Yep,” Jaemin smiles to himself. “That’s cherry.”

-

Much to Jaemin’s surprise, Mark doesn’t try to avoid him. Not that it was what Jaemin was intending to do or anything but there was a small moment of _what the fuck did I just do_ that definitely loomed over his head, getting Jaemin into thinking their friendship was to end right then and there; but Mark's a big boy and actually doesn’t get fazed by kisses between bros. 

Jaemin scrunches his nose at that thought. How terrible. The idea of being “just bros” was certainly not on Jaemin’s to-do list. 

It sort of does things to his heart though. Mark is a lot more mature than he gives him credit for and Jaemin feels himself fall for him a little deeper than before.

_Mark doesn’t mind kisses! Mark isn’t home-of-phobic! Mark likes boys? Does he like dilfs or is he into younger boys with a killer smile and fun personality?_ Jaemin wants to figure it all out.

It wasn't like it was the first time he and Mark had kissed (well, Mark kissed him back then, back when they were just trainees, he was also under a lot of stress at the time but it still _counts_ and it might have been Jaemin’s awakening.) This time though, he can't stop thinking about Mark's cute little surprised face, his soft lips. He thinks Mark even held his breath for a moment there. It really made Jaemin feel _too_ many things. 

Jaemin can’t even begin to explain his thought process at the time either. Had it been either to establish dominance within the boys or perhaps to finally get that one kiss he’s been waiting to get out of Mark after a long time of pent up emotions? Yeah, Jaemin can’t really be sure to know what it really was.

The worst part was that he didn't even mean to let it get to his head at all, but Jaemin was still a human being and it definitely amplified his feelings (it took him _years_ to finally admit that he had a slight crush on Mark, now here Jaemin was, playing with his _own_ feelings like a toy? Jaemin is gonna have to beat his own ass) to an unhealthy degree. _He_ was supposed to get the last laugh, not his stupid heart.

Maybe it was a ghost or something. 

_Do ghosts possess people? Is that even a thing_? 

Jaemin finds himself zoning out as he eats. Actually, he hasn’t eaten much, having been too busy thinking about the possibility of poltergeists and other supernatural beings' ablities to posses people and _god_ , Renjun sure has found his way into Jaemin’s brain now. He's a parasite. Jaemin scrunches his nose in disgust, that’s the last thing Jaemin would want in his mind while he’s eating with his friends.

It’s all he can think about at the moment, so he gets up in the middle of Jisung and Renjun’s game. He just wants to be a little annoying at the moment, in front of the television, blocking the screen for both of them and they both groan in annoyance. He makes his way into the kitchen and he spots Mark.

“Hyung?”

“Jaem?” Mark’s just taking out the snacks from the bags. There were four laid out on the counter, he’s probably looking for his own food.

Jaemin waltzes beside him, “Do we have any more of those drinks?” 

“Which ones?”

“The yogurt ones,” Jaemin gestures. “Like the peach kind.”

“Oh, I didn’t get any but I did get some sparkling waters.” Mark held up a can.

Jaemin frowns, “I don’t like those. They taste like static.”

“Then drink tap water.” Mark snorts, turning his back to him like he isn't breaking his heart.

Jaemin stares at Mark, scandalized.

“I’m just kidding, I got you some juice.”

“What kind?” Jaemin asks incredulously. 

“Cherry.”

Jaemin shivers. The last time he had something cherry flavored was when it was on Mark’s lips.

“Oh, cool.”

“Cool?” Mark makes a funny face. “You don’t mind right?”

“No!” Jaemin shakes his head. “It’s just fine.”

“O–kay.” Mark snorts.

Jaemin feels a little bit of guilt deep down. He had wondered if the kiss had bothered Mark to warrant a response like that. He goes to ask Mark about it before he stops himself when he sees Mark pop the cap off of a chapstick and he applies it.

And Mark...Mark _looks_ at him while he does so. Eyes almost lidded as he glides it over his lips, almost in slow motion. He pops the cap back on, inserting the stick into his pocket as he rubs his lips together to make sure it's been fully applied.

“Since when do you use chapstick so much?” Jaemin asks.

Mark shrugged, “I guess after Mina got some for me, I really liked how it made my lips look so—” He cuts himself off, realization dawning on his face. “Let me guess.” Mark says, voice low. “You want to try.”

Jaemin wordlessly nods, it's too late, his instincts have already kicked in, rational thought completely out of the window. He wants to kiss him.

Mark frowns, “You don’t want the chapstick.”

Jaemin shakes his head, inching closer to him, eyes on his lips.

“Why are you doing this?” It comes out more of a demand than a question and it definitely excites Jaemin more than it should.

“Doing what?” He asks, their noses knocking together.

“Jaemin.” Mark looks up at him but he doesn't stop him, his arms bent, hands remaining on the counter.

“Hmm?” 

“ _Jaemin-ah.”_

Jaemin brushes his lips against the elder and gets engulfed by a very strong, citrusy scent. It’s barely a kiss, more so just a graze and Mark’s lips feel almost a little soft but the taste is aggressively strong and overpowering to Jaemin. There's barely any coating on his lips, it's just an explosion of sugar. 

“It’s orange.” Jaemin says, pulling away, but it doesn’t taste _like_ orange. He voices these thoughts out loud.

“Yeah,” Mark says with a frown, wiping his mouth. “Because it’s Fanta.”

“I didn’t know this flavor existed.” Jaemin purses his lips. He doesn’t really like it that much.

“There’s also cola.” Mark holds up another stick with red and white letters. “And sprite.”

“That can’t be good for your lips.” Jaemin scolds, glaring daggers at the product. 

“It’s cheap.” Mark explains. “We bought it from the store last minute.”

Jaemin stares blankly at the elder. He's thinking all about those weird conspiracy theories. The ones where they're like _cosmetic companies are purposefully putting bad substances in their products so you can buy them over and over and-_

“There wasn’t anything else! Seriously! They just sell ramen and cleaning supplies there!” Mark said, puffing his cheeks a little and _oh,_ Jaemin's got it _bad_ because Mark looks incredibly cute and Jaemin just wants to pull him into his lap and hold his face.

Jaemin blinks, the image of it coming to mind, of Mark rushing as he buys the boys their snacks so they don't reprimand him. It wouldn't be the first time. They all like to terrorize him because they like him the most, like to see his reactions the most. ( _He's so expressive, so cute,_ the boys have collectively agreed an exasperated Mark was an adorable one, meant to be just for them. Jaemin was very much supportive of this "campaign.") He snorts and breaks into a loud laughter. “You couldn’t go to a drugstore and buy an actual good brand instead?”

Mark cracks a small smile and shoves him away, “No! I didn’t have the time to, after I was being _rushed_ -”

“We’re growing boys, hyung.”

“You’re _20 years old_ , you’re legally allowed to drink. You can drive and buy it your damn self!”

That was very true but Jaemin likes to have the last laugh so he goes for what he thinks would confuse Mark the most.

“Yeah, but I actually have a reputation to maintain.”

Mark makes an offended noise, “What’s that supposed to mean!?”

Jaemin cackles as he retreats from the kitchen, cherry juice and chapsticks in his hand. He may have stolen them while Mark wasn't looking. Hey, there was _no_ way he was gonna let _his_ Mark put those cheap things on his lips. No way.

-

It becomes a game very quickly and Jaemin considers he wins all the time.

It’s funny because it also became a little inside joke amongst the dreamies too. Jeno begins to joke around saying that he won’t have to put chapstick around Jaemin anymore because he doesn’t want to have him kiss him; and Donghyuck jokes, saying that he might shoplift some lip balm just so he can get kisses. Renjun, Jisung and Chenle don’t even involve themselves anymore. At least so they can finally relish in not having Jaemin’s attention

It’s laughable. Jaemin brushes those jokes off, already knowing that he would never even look their way if they even _did_ do that. 

Jaemin has...much more questionable standards than that but he would never think to ever look their way like that. _Ever._

When he thinks about it, Jeno already feels like a brother to him, they’ve done a bunch of stuff together, _dumb_ unspeakable things that they definitely should not have done so Jaemin's already cemented the fact that they wont ever be together and he's more than okay with that. Donghyuck...well, Jaemin supposes he’s just not his type. Not that he would ever tell him that or anything, but Jaemin _does_ value their friendship a lot and Donghyuck probably wouldn’t like hearing the reality of it.

Mark, however, he just makes _sense_. Jaemin feels his heart flutter against his chest thinking about him and he chugs his iced coffee to feel _anything_ but that.

“Don’t let Jaemin see you.” 

Jaemin practically snaps his neck as he hears his own name, trying to figure out who had said that.

The first thing he sees is Mark. He's standing right there, not _just_ standing there, he's applying lip balm. Again. He also sees Donghyuck right beside him but Jaemin isn’t really focusing on him. 

“Nevermind.” Donghyuck sort of laughs and Mark raises an eyebrow at him in slight confusion until he turns to where Donghyuck is looking at, which is right at Jaemin.

Mark stumbles back a little bit and Jaemin realizes that he’s inching towards him without thinking. He’s eventually close enough to see that Mark’s lips were actually a bit chapped this time so maybe the chapstick _was_ needed. He catches another whiff of it and realizes what it smells like. Of course Jaemin can’t miss this golden opportunity so he swiftly pecks Mark on the corner of his mouth, gets a little taste of peach and maybe even a hint of pizza, before he turns on his heels and squeals as he leaves Mark alone and confused.

-

They’re getting ready for an event or whatever and Jaemin just wants to go home soon. It’s tiring, he’s already spent the entire day around too many people, he feels a little bit drained to be honest but the makeup covers up the dark circles around his eyes and his schedule won’t last long so it won’t be hard to hide his exhaustion. 

“I can go to the bathroom right?” He asks one of the makeup artists.

The makeup artist nods at him, “Just be quick. We only need to apply the mascara and that’ll be all.”

“Thank you.” Jaemin nods towards her and makes his way to the bathroom. Just a moment to breathe and be alone is all.

He enters the men’s room and walks past the urinals and stalls until he’s reached the far end wall and he just sighs. He’d much rather do this outside but this was better than nothing he guessed. 

“Jaemin?”

Jaemin panics, looking up until he sees who had entered the bathroom and sighs in relief.

“Hyung.” Jaemin offers him a small smile, it must look too forced because Mark frowns as he approaches him.

“You okay? I saw you leave and I got worried.”

Leave it to Mark to be a very caring leader right now. Jaemin inappropriately feels tingly inside. 

“I’m fine.” _Now that you’re here._ Jaemin cringes internally at himself. Some things are better left unsaid. “Just a little exhausted is all. I’ll be out in a second.”

“Is something bothering you?” Mark asks, concerned.

“No.” Jaemin shakes his head. “Everything is fine actually. I’m just having an off day is all.”

Mark frowns, tilting his head, (the resemblance of a baby cheetah is _so_ there, there’s no coming back from this), “An off day?”

“It’s nothing," Jaemin waves his hand dismissively. "I just feel a little less...entertaining-y than usual, hahah.” The laugh is so _fake_ , Jaemin has tried his best to perfect it but he crumbles under Mark so easily.

“You sound like you need a break.” Mark says flatly. 

“I guess that _would_ be nice, yes.” Jaemin sniffs.

“You’re never subtle.” Mark smiles.

Jaemin wants to ask what that’s even supposed to mean but then he’s being enveloped into a hug and Na Jaemin _can't_ not hug Mark Lee back. It’s warm and somehow refreshing to him. Jaemin feels lighter, like a weight has been lifted just by Mark’s arms wrapped around him.

Jaemin sighs, leaning into Mark more, hooking his chin over his shoulder as Mark rubs his neck. 

“Thanks.” He sighs, it comes out muffled but he knows Mark's heard it.

“I think I needed this too.” Mark mumbles. “I’m a little tired too.”

“Let's rest later then.” Jaemin suggests, a smile forming. “We can watch something?” He pulls back a little to see Mark for his answer.

Mark nods, “Sure, I didn’t really have any plans anyway, besides stealing Jungwoo’s bed.”

“Oh, really? Sounds like it would have been eventful.”

“Nothing would ever compare to being in your bed.” Mark jokes but Jaemin is vibrating a little because Mark made _a...forbidden_ joke and he hasn’t even realized it. He's just looking at Jaemin with hope and he's just so sweet. Jaemin is fucking reeling at the imaginary implication that’s definitely _not_ there but his body is feeling a little too excited right now.

“Haha, yeah. _Yeahhhhh!_ ” Jaemin’s voice definitely cracks, sounding _way_ too high. He winces, Jaemin doesn’t think he can ever recover after that at all. He clears his throat, “Um, we can watch this one drama. I was planning on starting it as soon as I got home, but it would be nice to have someone else with me.”

“Sounds good to me.” Mark grins.

His lips look shiny and bright pink. The words _lubricated_ come to mind and Jaemin quickly erases those inappropriate thoughts with math for personal reasons. 

Yeah, that did the trick just nicely.

Mark snorts. He sounds amused and his hand goes up to touch his lips. “Trust me, you don’t want to kiss me.”

“I wasn’t thinking about kissing you.”

“Then why are you looking at my lips?”

“Checking for dust.” Jaemin answers simply.

Mark snorts, “Did you find anything?”

Jaemin leans in closer, “I think I might need to inspect further.”

“No, you don’t.” Mark holds a hand up. “You don’t want to kiss me.”

“I always want to kiss you.” Jaemin says without thinking.

“It’s gross.” Mark says. “Not the kissing—it’s just not typically what you’re used to.”

Jaemin raises an eyebrow.

Mark sighs, defeated. “I mean, if you want to try it, then be my guest, but you won’t like it.”

“You sound so sure.” Jaemin giggles. “It’s so cute.”

Mark inhales sharply. His eyes go wide and Jaemin grows curious, wondering what that response is for.

“Really, Nana—what are you doing.” It doesn’t even come as a question this time.

“Nothing.” Jaemin says nonchalantly like he’s currently not crowding into Mark’s space. 

“Jaemin-”

It’s far too late, Jaemin’s already going in to press his lips against Mark’s. The older doesn’t even try to move anymore, just stands there until Jaemin has had his 'fix.'

It’s pretty thick, not like the normal lip balm he was used to and he supposes Mark was right in that light. It’s a bit gel-like, feeling almost like the waxy lip balm application but Mark’s lips are pleasantly soft and warm all the same. Maybe even softer. It lasts longer than the last kisses he's shared with Mark. He kind of just wants to stay there, it feels so nice. He presses a little harder against Mark's lips, almost moving them but not quite. Mark makes a small noise, almost like a breathy squeak and Jaemin pulls away quickly once he feels Mark's lips part, feeling warm in his face.

“This one doesn’t have a flavor.” It’s stuck a bit on Jaemin’s lips. He wipes it into his own lips with his finger. Stylist be damned, he hopes she doesn’t notice. She's gonna kill him for sure, _at least it was worth it_.

“It’s not flavored.” Mark explains simply, a little breathless. “Normal vaseline.”

“Oh.” Jaemin pouts. “That’s not fun.”

“Because it’s _actually_ meant to soften my lips, Nana.” Mark snorts.

“Your lips are already soft though.”

Mark sputters a bit, red rising on his cheeks and Jaemin’s eyes widen. _He blushed! Because of me!_ He preens internally.

Jaemin considers it a win

-

“How come you don’t kiss me?” Jeno asks. He’s lifting up a mango flavored chapstick. “Don’t you like mangoes?”

“Do you _really_ want me to kiss you?”

Jeno’s frown deepens, thinking for a moment. “It would just be nice to know whether or not I’m kissable is all.”

Jaemin pats him on the shoulder sympathetically, “Someone’ll kiss you. Not me, but someone.”

“This doesn’t make me feel better but thanks.”

“Anytime.”

There’s a slight pause and Jaemin tries to savor it for as long as he can. He was afraid of having the others ask him about it but so far no one really noticed.

“Would you kiss Renjun?”

Jaemin gags.

“Jisung?”

“Don’t I do that already?”

Jeno ponders for a moment, holding the cushion closer to his chest.

“I guess.” Jeno says. “But why Mark hyung?”

Jaemin wants to say something bratty like: _take a guess,_ or, _there will never be another man like Mark Lee SOOO…_

He shrugs wordlessly. 

Jeno reluctantly takes that answer, doesn’t say anything else and kicks his feet against the mattress where they're both laying and staring up at ceiling.

“I want to conduct an experiment.” He says.

“What?” Jaemin turns to him, confused.

"Nothing." Jeno shakes his head. “Never mind that.” Then he’s pulling out his phone as he gets up and leaves Jaemin’s room. His fingers moving like he's shooting a text.

Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him but he doesn’t say anything, just nods and ignores it.

.

They end up being the only ones at practice at some point. Time passes quickly when they have fun (or drinking, Jaemin might be a little tipsy). Jaemin doesn't remember feeling this good but he giggles to himself about it. He's so giddy, they're all together and alone for the first time in a long time. It's past midnight now and the boys are waiting for their food to arrive. Just saying anything to pass the time.

"I think an aquarium would be a good investment." Jisung says.

"That's not a bad idea." Jeno nods. 

Jaemin snorts, "We live in a small apartment."

"We should buy some property." Jisung says, hope in his voice.

"You have property money?"

Mark laughs and Jaemin shifts a little straighter. He's been feeling way too much pride lately just by getting Mark's attention. It might be getting a little too much but Jaemin is addicted to this feeling. Loves feeling like he's made Mark happy. He's become beyond shameless at this point.

It doesn't help with the fact Mark looks cute in the dim light, warm glow on his face, his cheeks look softer and relaxed. Jaemin thinks it suits him quite well. He would have liked to photograph this if he could. He makes a mental note of that for later. 

Without realizing, the others had scrambled away and it's just Mark and Jaemin in the practice floor now. Jaemin gets up and scans the room and frowns. Had he really been staring at Mark this long that they all left?

"They went to get food, bro." Mark says.

Jaemin turns to him and wrinkles his nose. "Oh."

Mark giggles to himself, light and content.

Jaemin's so whipped. He feels happy because Mark is happy. He wants to squeal but that might be too weird (and he wants to impress Mark somewhat) so he jumps up to switch the light on. Something to take his energy out on.

“Woah, it’s super bright in here.” Mark squints and he looks so cute making a face like _that_ but the first thing Jaemin sees is the light pink tint on Mark’s lips that couldn’t be mistaken.

Jaemin stares. Give him a break, it’s all he can do since he’s tired and he just wants to sleep and eat but he also just wants to kiss him with _purpose_. Kiss his stupid cute face _romantically_. _Boyfriend, boyfriend, he looks so boyfriend. I want him to be my boyfriend._

Mark scrunches his nose, “Is there something on my face?”

Jaemin’s heart pulls and tugs and he feels a little upset. “Is there?”

Jaemin looks back at Mark and he could have sworn he’d seen him glance at his own lips. Jaemin blinks, _that can’t be right, Mark is normal_.

“You want to try it, don’t you?” Mark asks and there’s a teasing lilt to it.

Jaemin wants to do that and way more.

He snorts. “You honestly don’t even have to ask.”

“Really? Do you do this with anyone else?”

Jaemin shakes his head.

Mark’s eyes widen, “Seriously? Just me?”

_There really isn’t anyone else_ , Jaemin thinks. _My pathetic crush is on you and only you._ He cringes inwardly just thinking about it. He only feels this stupid because of Mark. 

He wants to say it right then and there. Confess. Tell Mark that he’s so pathetically infatuated with him. He wants to watch stupid dramas with Mark, he wants to go on cute little dates with him, make him cute pictures, write songs about him, he wants to finally kiss Mark and call him his boyfriend but instead Jaemin presses a kiss just to the corner of his mouth.

But as soon as his lips hit just _half_ a centimeter of Mark’s; he pulls away so fast, he nearly pulls a muscle. 

Jaemin’s face is contorted with disgust, he furiously wipes his mouth as he stares at Mark in disbelief and betrayal.

“ _Strawberry_.”

Mark giggles evilly, “Is there something wrong?”

Jaemin stares up at Mark in disbelief, offended. There’s a loud and unspoken word that displays over Mark’s grin and he sees the others pour into the room, the scent of food filling the air. _Revenge_.

-

Jaemin isn’t sulking. 

Okay, maybe he is.

Jaemin sort of decided to give up. After the whole strawberry incident, he figures it was Mark’s own discreet way of saying _fuck off_ and Jaemin isn’t stupid enough to ignore these signs so he stops as much as it kind of hurts him to.

_‘Kind of_ ,' that was beyond an understatement.

Although, he does conclude that he’s had his fun, maybe it was time to let it all go. It was probably for the best anyway, but getting over a crush is admittedly a lot harder than actually coming to terms with even having one in the first place. Jaemin just didn’t think he would have had to do it at all though.

He can’t believe this. He’s become upset, over a _boy_. His past self is absolutely _livid_ right now.

Present Jaemin, however, is a little shattered. Mark won’t look at him the same as he does. Mark won’t like him. Mark _doesn’t_ like him. Jaemin wants to kiss his stupid face so bad, this is ridiculous. He wants to cry. He feels embarrassed too. Mark didn't do anything at all. It was all _Jaemin_. _Jaemin_ had let him fool _himself_ into thinking that there was even a slight chance.

Shame rises in his chest and he breathes, dejected.

He’s curled up bit in his bed ( _it's not a fetal position, shut up_ ), scrolling through whatever social media to fill the void. Instagram isn't even safe anymore. Mark has that too. Jaemin saves the post to look at later (it's a sweet picture of him, he looks too cute right now, Jaemin wants to punch a _wall_ like some kid), he may have screamed in his throat a little but that's neither here nor there. He might be dramatic right now but he knows for a fact that the way he’s coping right now is perfectly valid.

He had been lucky. Earlier, Jeno invited him to go out hiking with him and their manager but Jaemin had declined, saying that he’d have much more important things to do. They surprisingly took the excuse without explanation, Jeno looked a little concerned, sure, he even wanted to ask about Jaemin's important plans but the manager had said they were almost going to miss the bus soon so they left. Jaemin's 'important plans' were actually to take a bath and watch Vampire Diaries all day with Renjun, but then Renjun suddenly decided to go somewhere with Doyoung which left Jaemin all by himself. Jaemin can’t honestly blame him though. He was probably getting free food out of it or something. Jaemin would have also liked Jisung’s own company but even he left too, to go somewhere with Chenle.

Jaemin groans, _why is life so cruel? Why do men? When is the ninth season coming out again?_

Jaemin sighs, decides he shouldn't be moping all day and letting his dumb feelings get in the way of his youth. He gets up from his bed and pushes himself to the living room. The ice cream is so close yet so far away, Jaemin is almost there until he hears a knock at the door and he sprints to open it. 

“Mark?” Jaemin's eyes widen.

“We never finished that show.” Mark says simply, storming inside the apartment. “I brought snacks.”

He holds up a plastic bag filled with snacks and drinks. 

Jaemin can’t even believe what’s in front of him, his mouth fully agape. Mark is right here and he _doesn’t_ hate him. He’s _not_ avoiding him. That doesn’t make Jaemin any less confused as he just closes his mouth, swallowing, before nodding.

"You wanna finish it?"

"Duh."

“Okay, but we’re not leaving crumbs on my bed." Jaemin swallows. "Let’s watch it in the living room.”

“Works for me.” Mark grins.

Jaemin tries to discreetly pinch himself just to make sure he’s not dreaming. He does it extra hard and it definitely hurts a lot but Mark is sitting on the couch looking very perfect and _boyfriend_ so Jaemin pinches himself once more. It hurts a lot and he leaves a mark. This is definitely happening.

Jaemin chooses to sit on the farthest side of the couch despite Mark being in the middle. Mark sends him a questioning glance but then Jaemin is starting the series and Mark quickly turns away.

_That’s weird,_ Jaemin thinks but Mark is sort of a weird person too (and maybe he likes that about him). Jaemin cries a little internally and sighs, he grabs a cushion close to his chest. His emotional support pillow, but it’s not working as effectively as it usually would and it might have to do with the fact that he’s remembering he and Mark are the only ones in the apartment. 

They’re together. _Alone._

No adult supervision and Jaemin realizes belatedly that he and Mark are the adults here.

_Oh shit._

Jaemin really is in too deep because when he looks back at the screen (focusing his eyes on the screen, he’s never once looked away from the stupid scenes in front of him, he was just sort of zoning out really), he has no idea what’s going on. Not that he already knew what was going on either, he was watching the same series with Mark just the other day, but even then he couldn’t pay attention to the plot. Not when Mark was right next to him.

From the corner of his eyes he can see Mark moving but he doesn’t dare look at him. He doesn’t think he can handle much more heartbreak. He has no idea how he’s gonna survive the rest of this evening. He supposes he could just wait it out until the others come back and they sweep him away. That, or he could excuse himself to the bathroom, escape from the window and never look back.

Jaemin frowns, he would miss them though. He’d miss those weird workouts Jeno would make him do and Renjun’s random astrological stuff and Donghyuck’s cuddles and tormenting and taking care of Jisung and Chenle and-

He hugs the pillow tighter.

They end up watching a couple more episodes without speaking. They don't even talk about it, just skipping onto the next episode when they would usually talk throughout it. It’s really awkward and Jaemin can’t breathe with all this tension in the air. He wants to say something so badly but he keeps to himself until Mark is reaching for the remote and turns the television off.

There’s a deafening silence that fills the room and Jaemin turns to Mark, much to his dismay, he has to say something. He sends him a questioning glance but Mark doesn’t say anything either, just looks him down.

“Why aren’t you kissing me right now?” Are the first words that come out of Mark’s mouth.

“ _What?_ ” 

Jaemin can’t quite believe his ears. His heart races and he looks at Mark with wide eyes.

“Come to think of it, you haven’t texted me at all either.” Mark plays with the hem of his hoodie. “Was there something I did wrong?”

“What!?” Jaemin shoots up. “You? You would _never_.”

“Huh? But…”

“Wait, you _want_ me to kiss you?”

Mark flushed a pretty red, “Well, I mean…” He mumbles something after. 

“Sorry?”

“Y-yeah, I do. I really...” Mark manages. “What about you?”

Jaemin kind of blanks out, he feels quite like he’s floating and suddenly a very successful person. This is it, he’s reached his peak. He can never feel this way ever again, it’s all too good.

“Can you say it again?” Jaemin asks.

“Say what?”

“You wanna kiss me.” 

“I really want to kiss you.” Mark says, he looks so cute, all bashful and sweet. He has _sweater paws_ for crying out loud, Jaemin is so fucking _fond._ “You should kiss me.”

Jaemin inches further. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” Mark affirms. 

“It’s not strawberry this time is it?”

Mark snorts, “No, never listening to Jeno’s ideas ever again.”

Figures it was Jeno, that bastard. He knows too much.

He can't be mad though, not when Mark’s face is just a couple centimeters away and he’s looking at Jaemin’s lips like he wants to pounce.

Jaemin wants it so bad, he leans in too but then self control finally takes over and he holds himself back for once, pulling back far away. “I…need to tell you something.”

Regret settles in and he wishes he had just gone through with it but...but it's not right. Not to Mark or Jaemin.

“What is it?” Mark's face falls.

Jaemin feels even worse.

“I don’t think I can kiss you.”

“Oh.” Mark deflates. “Why? Was it the strawberry?”

Jaemin shakes his head but he’s _so_ cute, he’s so simple, “I have to be honest with you.”

“What’s up?” Mark looks genuinely worried and Jaemin wishes he never said anything in the first place but he really needs to get this off his chest.

“I really _really_ like you. Like...like I like you so much I kinda want to kiss you all the time and stuff but I...we’re friends and I think if I do it again, I’ll feel really bad knowing that we’ll never be anything more than that so...I’m sorry. For everything. I shouldn’t have kissed you all those times. I shouldn’t have done that. I hope you can forgive me.”

There it is. It’s out in the open now. Jaemin can’t do anything about it. Mark knows now. It should feel good but Jaemin kind of wants to cry but he’d rather do that when he’s _not_ in front of Mark. He definitely doesn’t want to embarrass himself twice.

“ _J_ _aemin._ ”

“Yeah?”

“You _idiot_.” Mark says with a soft smile. “Jaemin, I like you too. I want you...I want you to do that all the time too. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

Wait, what.

“Oh.”

“I thought I was being really obvious.” Mark frowned, scratching the back of his neck. “I mean I thought you liked me too which is why I even...why I thought we could.”

“I do!” Jaemin cuts in. “I like you a lot!”

“Well, I know that for sure now!” Mark chuckles. “How could you even think that though? I never once pushed you away! If I really didn’t want it, I would have stopped you a long time ago! I don’t even let _Hyuck_ kiss me.”

“Hyuck kisses you?” Jaemin gets up suddenly.

“He _tries._ ” Mark cackles, he pulls Jaemin to sit back down next to him. Closer than before. They’re holding hands. Jaemin’s gonna die. “That’s besides the point. Nana, if I was bothered by it, I would have told you upfront. You know this."

Jaemin feels his face heat up. “I-oh..."

"So, I'm gonna say it now." Mark says, face serious. "I like you _._ A lot.”

"Oh, that’s good.” Jaemin can't believe this. He might actually explode. _What a way to go_ , he thinks, _it might be romantic and dramatic. Just like how Jaemin always wanted to go. Perfect._

“ _Good?_ ” Mark laughs.

“I really didn't think this far ahead.” Jaemin frowned. “I don’t know what I was expecting.”

His heart feels so full and his head is light because _now_ he knows. _Mark likes him! They can be boyfriends! Jaemin can kiss him all the time now without feeling any guilt or having to use chapstick as an excuse!_

“Would you have expected _this_?” And then Mark is leaning forward and Jaemin is ascending so beyond the astral plane right now, he might just start understanding Renjun’s weird metaphors now because Mark is _kissing_ him and it tastes like everything Jaemin loves—

“What’s this flavor?” Jaemin pulls away quickly, his tongue running against his bottom lip. 

“Aha, ummm...mocha.” Mark blushes, not meeting his eyes. “I bought it online.”

“They-" _They make those?_ “Wait, did you get this for _me_?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny.”

Jaemin feels all light and bubbly inside and he _swoons_.

“For little old me?”

“Oh my god, just kiss me.”

Jaemin does and he doesn’t even have to hold himself back this time.


End file.
